Life

Planning A Wedding: Not Quite A Frolic Through Fun Town

flowercrown

But then I knew that it wasn’t going to be, didn’t I? Of course I did! That’s one of the numero uno reasons why I never WANTED a wedding. I don’t like stress, I don’t believe in doing things “for the sake of doing them”, and if I can actively avoid making myself feel uncomfortable, then I usually will. But then my perspective changed (“no! Your “big day” doesn’t have to be boring, complicated and serious, in fact, it could actually be one of the best days of your LIFE!”), and here I am, suddenly less than 11 months away from having my own ceremony. But I’m starting to feel slightly unhinged.

For starters, no-one warns you that setting a date – and then asking people to attend said date – can dredge up some reasonably shitty, gee-I-didn’t-know-YOU-were-there insecurities. “They haven’t responded to your invitation because they don’t care about you,” that hideous, negative inner voice whispers to you at 3.00AM (you know, the same one that tells you that your thighs look enormous in that beautiful dress when they 110% don’t, or that you’re never going to be okay again – when you absolutely will – after a traumatic event? Yeah. THAT jerk). “NOBODY cares about you,” it continues. “Haven’t you realised that by now? Oh, and by the way, your nose looks HUGE today! Alright… I’m out. But don’t worry; I’ll be back to torment you laaateeer!” It doesn’t matter that the logical part of your brain knows that you’re being ridiculous – “you’re being fucking ridiculous” I say to myself 50 times a day – those anxieties still like to pop in and say hello.

And then there’s the “helpful” suggestions you begin to receive. I’ve edited the words on the following conversation slightly (definitely not for worse!), but here’s one of the generally negative, not-particularly-kind comments that have come my way:

Person: “You’ll need to organise bus transport from 7.00PM – and maybe every subsequent hour after that – so that people can leave your wedding early.”
Me: “1) 7.00PM onwards?! For a 3PM wedding, where dinner alone won’t be served until 6.30PM? 2)“7.00PM” and “every subsequent hour”? Who is going to be paying for all of these buses?! 3) Who leaves a wedding at 7.00PM?!” Seriously, have you ever been to a late afternoon/evening wedding where someone has left at 7.00PM? Have you ever left a wedding at 7.00PM?! Help me RHONDA!

If the self-doubts and outside opinions weren’t enough to contend with, there’s also the stress of organising the actual event itself. Three vendors – one venue, and two caterers – have replied to our initial enquiries with “well seeing as there’s only 11 months (only?!) until the event, you’ll need to confirm your booking now, and pay your deposit no later than the end of this month.” Y-i-k-e-s.

A photographer that I contacted asked what my hopes for our celebration were. “For everyone to enjoy themselves,” I wrote back. Because to Casey and I, this isn’t just about us. It’s about thanking the people closest to us for being a part of our lives. We want to entertain, surprise, delight and honour them. We want them to have fun. (Because honestly, what’s the point of doing something like this – or most things, really – if it’s not about having fun?!)

*deep breath*

Everything’s going to work out, isn’t it? And if not, well… at least there’ll be pizza!

(Image credit: 1.)

7 thoughts on “Planning A Wedding: Not Quite A Frolic Through Fun Town”

  1. Pizza!!!
    Everything will work out, I promise! This is the thick of the hard stuff and your day will be amazing even if just for the fact that you will be married to one hell of a gentleman… and the pizza 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Bah to those suppliers! I got engaged Christmas Day 2012 and was married 19 October 2013, that’s 10 months, which was long enough to get a couture gown and bridesmaids dresses made and organise everything else we wanted. Unless you’re 100% heart set on non negotiable about something you’ve plenty of time. And you can have or not have anything you want except the groom and celebrant. Things we cut out and didn’t miss: fancy invitations (bought some pearl card from Officeworks and did it on our home inkjet printer), flower girls and pageboys (2 attendants each for bride and groom), white shoes (I got red ones instead!), wedding veil (didn’t feel any less a bride without one), elaborate wedding favours (silver boxes bought from an online party supply shop, assembled by me and hubby one afternoon, filled with chocolates from our favourite chocolate shop and tied with red ribbon bought from Lincraft on sale), first dance (me and hubby don’t like/can’t dance and we got married in the morning and had a lunchtime reception so it wasn’t like there’d be dancing after the meal), post-meal dancing (see previous), bridal car (had ceremony and reception at same venue – a hotel – and stayed the night there afterwards). Our guests were enjoying themselves so much that the hotel was basically removing the tablecloths from the tables at 6:30pm to signal to them that it was time to leave 😛

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  3. I organised my wedding in 16 weeks, and people LOVE telling you what to do. Luckily being told what to do is the best way to get me to double down and do what I want instead. PS I have never been bussed to or from a venue at the cost of the bride and groom, we guests organised our own bloody maxi taxis cos we’re grown ups.

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  4. I know exactly how you feel. I went through a similar experience and wrote about it approx a year after my wedding. You’re welcome to read more on my perspective here: http://shedefined.com.au/life/i-hated-planning-my-wedding/

    All I can say is: try your best to stay true to what you want for YOUR wedding. I know that’s easier said than done, especially in the midst of all the stress, but it’s something you’ll be glad you did post-wedding. All the best with the rest of the planning.

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  5. OMG this sounds stressful. I’d be screaming!
    I agree with the other comments – don’t listen to everyone’s ideas. It’s your day and you and your future hubby are what’s important.

    I’m seriously considering eloping (I’m not even engaged) even though my mother would never talk to me again.

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